I am having this little dilemma with myself. I could go into a whole speech about actions and thoughts and whatever but the basic bottom line is as follows.
Earlier in my life career, there was a guy who, to put it bluntly, sexually harassed me in a rather blatant manner. Now, I know all about the sexual harassment that goes on under random guises of normalcy, and these things are ALL disgusting, but at least the guys in question have enough decency to be embarrassed about what they are doing and try to cover it up. This one didn’t. Should he be lauded for his honesty at least?
It has recently come to my attention that this individual is going to be involved with my place of employment in a professional capacity. I am not excited about this and my initial instinct was to contact the person responsible for making this arrangement, give them an earful in a nice sort of way, and explain why dealing with THIS PERSON is a bad idea.
But then I realized that:
(Have you noticed I like lists?)
1 – this incident was a long time ago, and he very well could have done teshuva since then
2 – even if he IS still the type of person to sexually harass, he is unlikely to do so on the job since he would simply be FIRED, and that would not be good for his career.
3 – the Torah forbids taking revenge. One of the classic examples is causing someone financial loss. (Hey! When people speak loshon hara in a vengeful sort of way, they are also creating a problem in this area. and then some…) So telling the person hiring this dude that he behaved inappropriately with me just to get him fired would CERTAINLY be a problem.
4 – how he behaved is not a reflection of me AT ALL. I don’t need to feel uncomfortable around him. At the time, I felt small, but it is he who was shrunken by his poor behavior.
Done with the list. It is so easy to start down a road where we don’t want to go just from not being aware of where I was standing. It is important to keep our eyes open all the time.
The moral of this story is, you guessed it. Don’t fall down the well.