It’s Sunday again. Oh, excuse me. Yom Rishon. Rebbetzen (Tziporah) Heller says this is just one more way we can be shabbos-focused during our week. Ah, the irony.
All week long, I look forward to Yom Rishon. (This is really hard to maintain and also doesn’t make sense as the week begins on day one. I feel like a fool, but I’m going to stick with it for now if I can, so please forgive me.) Here I am, trying to be focused on shabbos, and all all I can think about is Sunday. Ahem, Yom Rishon. Ok, forgive me now, Sunday it is. And this is why.
I only have a few more Sundays left. G-d willing I will live to 120 or beyond (I don’t want to limit myself. You know the joke – What do you say to someone on their 120th birthday? Have a good day. Yeah, I want none of that. If, G-d willing, I make it that far, I want to spend the day celebrating and thanking G-d, not living in a constant state of fear – which I hope I’ll be past by then – and wondering about the upcoming moments) but in just under 2 months, I’m out of here. Off to the holy land I go, leaving the craziness of America behind me. Including…Sundays.
Sunday is the day that starts the week. I build it up in my head, because its a day of potential. On Sundays I can do laundry, catch up on household chores, see friends, go for a long walk, play badminton, be crafty. I almost NEVER have time to scrapbook during the week (and its not that often that I get to it on Sundays either. By the time I clear a space to work, and get out my supplies, bedtime has arrived. Yes, that’s self imposed.)
It is interesting that Sunday is my focus. I love shabbos, and look forward to it all week too, but its not the same as Sunday. Its a sad reality. Shabbos is for Hashem, Sunday is for me. Sure, part of that is to take care of the gashmius stuff so I can serve Him better, to clear up the backlog and make a PLAN and move forward. I’m not THAT much of a selfish brat. But shabbos is the day when we get to sit with the world that Hashem has created. And the reality that we have created for ourselves. That’s why its a taste of olam haba. What’s done is done, and now we get to sit with the results.
But I’m not done doing. I want to keep going, take care of business, change and affect the world. Its not easy for me to sit back and experience without putting something out there. There is so much to be done! And so little time! And Sunday is my day to DO.
I don’t like this aspect of myself. That I live for moments other than the ones I am living in currently. I should be present. Wherever Hashem puts me, in space AND in time, that is where I am meant to be. Now I just need to go and internalize that.
But in the meantime, my laundry is waiting.