Quotalicious! – Part 2

On FOOD: (Yes, I know a lot of these don’t make sense. I forgot the contexts, but they entertained me at the time.)

Rabbi Brown paraphrases some chazal – “A lot of food in the world is wasted on people who only eat it.”

Rabbi Menachem Nissel – “That’s what they eat in hell. Salad.”

Rabbi Brown – “What does ice cream have to do with survival?”

Rabbi Kelemen – “You can buy Ben and Jerry’s. That makes everyone closer to Hashem.”

and…”My body needs Ben and Jerry’s to become a tzaddik. Without Ben and Jerry’s, my body WON’T COOPERATE!”

and…”A lot of things that westerners don’t realize are necessities are necessities. Like Ben and Jerry’s.” (Are you noticing a theme here yet?)

Rebbetzin Heller – “…which is why some people would rather have the perfect husband than the perfect pizza.”

[someone who wishes to remain anonymous in this situation] – “[Eating] healthy foods leads to healthy smelling armpits.”

Rabbi Orlofsky – “The worst shalach manos to get is from health people.”

Rabbi Orlofsky – “In my mind, Bamba is like, bizarro cheese doodles.”

Rabbi Kelemen – “Go away brownies! I’m Spiderman! Oh. Superman.”

Rabbi Brown – “Nobody likes me, everybody hates me. Let’s go eat some worms. Or something like that.”

Rabbi Moshe Weiden – “Chocolate is a mitzvah of oneg shabbos.”

Rabbi Azar – “Life is a bowl of cherries, and we’re the pits.”

Rabbi Azar – “This is it, man. Once a year, put the marror in my mouth.”

Rabbi Brown – “Eat, eat, eat, eat. You GOTTA eat.”

Rabbi Brown – ” Where do you learn this from? Oreo cookies…you don’t know what oreo cookies can do to your life once you become shomer Torah and mitzvot.”

Rebbetzin Heller “…as long as 72 minutes didn’t elapse without eating anything, which is what potato chips are for.”

Rabbi Yosef Levy – “I hate spinach.”

Rabbi Azar – “I love melon. It’s only in season once a year, so I only diet once a year.”

Rabbi Brown – “Now, you know what you have to do to eat a strawberry? Cut off the top, soak them in soapy water for 20 minutes, say kaddish for all the dead bugs…”

Rabbi Azar – “Who needs Pepsi when you can have Coke?”

Rabbi Marcus – “I know I’m speaking very quickly. I’ve had coffee, it’s enabled me to speak very quickly.”

Rabbi Kelemen – “Food…it fills up the whole 5%. If it’s chocolate, it’s 12%.”

Rabbi Kelemen – “A piece of cheese with wings?”

Rabbi Kelemen – “Personally, I think Hagen Dasz is good in an objective moral sense.”

Rabbi Azar – “Why do [Israeli kids] want to be American? ‘Cuz YOU bashed the ketchup. Israeli Ketchup.”

Rabbi Brown – “Maybe I’ll call you back in a few minutes when I can’t hear you chewing.”

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