Luxury’s lap is a hammock. And I’m in it.

Last night after shabbos ended I fled like a maniac to Target to buy one of the last remaining folding hammocks for sale in the tri-state area.  They are really hard to come by, and I should know.  I also bought a button down white top (I hate those, but I might need one one day for a waitressing job or something, you never know and I don’t want to have to spend 250 shek on a pirate shirt like my friend did.  It’s good to be prepared.)

After dropping my iPod as I came in (velcro is not that reliable) I went around the store, did my shopping, and then noticed that my car keys were no longer with my other keys.  This did NOT make me happy.  I double and triple checked my bag, retraced my steps around the store, and still – nothing.  The store was closing soon, so I started asking Hashem to PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE return my keys to me, I went to the desk at customer service, where they acted like they cared but ignored me until I mentioned that I was looking for my car keys and that I would be sleeping in the store if they didn’t turn up.  Then they cared slightly more, checked in their drawer and assured me that the keys were right there, handing me SOMEONE ELSE’S KEYS.  Not helpful.  But at least they tried.

So, feeling like a big idiot, I paid for my merchandise, and then asked another employee if she could make an announcement about the missing keys in case they turned up somewhere.  Meanwhile, a russian lady in her cute little jogging-type outfit was asking me, like 6 times, if I looked in my bag.  Yes, I did.  She was trying to be helpful and even offered to stick around and drive me home if I didn’t find them (so sweet!!! ) and the manager made an announcement that “all Target employees should stop whatever it is that you are doing and look for keys on a red keychain.”  I wanted to crawl under a rock, I felt so bad for wasting everyone’s time.  I went back into the fitting room (where the keys were later found) and crawled around on the floor looking but nothing turned up.  At that point, they told me I had to go with the nice lady, and the manager said she would call me first thing in the morning to let me know if the ‘night crew’ had found the keys.  Everyone was so NICE!  I was standing there like an idiot, giving brachot to everyone, manager lady is going “Yeah!  Pray for me please!”and the russian lady chose that moment to do the whole frum jew handshake thing – “I know how hard it is, running out like this on a motzai shabbos, there’s so little time!”  HAHAHAHAHAHA, I love those.  And just as I was about to walk out of the store, some tiny little person comes running from the back “WE FOUND HER KEYS!!! IS SHE STILL HERE?!?!?!”  YAY!  I thanked Hashem and everyone there like crazy!

THEN I stopped off on the way home and paid a shiva call, and then I set up my hammock in the living room.  Ah, such a nice place to be.  It’s swingin’.  🙂

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3 Responses to Luxury’s lap is a hammock. And I’m in it.

  1. Frum Hiker says:

    Dude can you change my address on your blogroll to the new one frumsatire.net

  2. one of those crazy upsetting momants that do have a happy ending, thank hashem! good for u

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