Pretty much everyone seems to have moments where something they said or did in the past now comes to haunt them in the present, and they wish they hadn’t done X.
After having some little tiffs with my yetzer harah (lets call him “Syler” for now…you can tell he’s been winning a bit) I realized…there’s going to be a point AFTER my life in this world where all this stuff comes back to bite me.
You think its done, you made a mistake and get to move past it, and you do – but that doesn’t mean the mistake is gone.
Ok, Hashem knows all this, and also that we’re not perfect, and I’m sure that since HE is perfect, He’ll take all this into consideration.
It’s just that regret is one of the most unpleasant feelings out there.
I see friends I lost touch with, living lives they shouldn’t, and I can’t help but wonder in what ways I could have helped them NOT to fall into those holes. Or in which ways I inadvertently shoved them in, or even just somewhere in the vicinity of the edge.
Just a lesson to myself to be careful in the future.
On a more chipper note, I just got a whole bunch of cool books for cheap today!
I hope they’re not missing pages.